Pebbles?
Nope.
Splinters?
Pshaw.
Glass?
I pity the glass for it's inability to make me care.
No, the worst thing about running barefoot is having to constantly tell people I'm a wimp. When people ask me about it, they think I'm some kind of tough guy. Generally, in my life as a short skinny glasses-wearing goof, "tough guy" would be an adjective I'd aspire to represent but fail in embarrassing fashion.
So now I'm running barefoot because I HATE pain and suffering, but others seem to think the opposite. It's very tempting to let them; yes, I'm a very manly man, I could say. I run barefoot and chop down trees with my fingernails. I eat spicy foods before going to bed at night. I file my taxes without wincing. Bring on the pain!
But, it's not true, and I'm a bad liar. If I need a tree chopped down I call a real manly man to do it for me. Heartburn makes me cry. Taxes, well, the less I say about them the better, but let's just say I find them very emasculating. I'm a wuss. I like kittens, Jane Austen, and cashmere.
OK, I don't like Jane Austen.
So there you have it. Hi, my name is Josh, I run barefoot and I'm a wimp. Go ahead, take my lunch money. Just don't lock me in my locker again.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
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It's true, Josh HATES Jane Austen to an unnatural degree, even for a man. But cashmere? Let's just say I'm considering an intervention.
ReplyDeleteAlso? I decreed him the official barefootjosh.com. Any pretenders to the throne will have to fight him for it. In cashmere gloves.
I still think my neighborhood sidewalks -- with their deep pocks, treacherous acorns and buckeyes, downed twigs and uneven cracks -- are the worst thing.
ReplyDeleteYou're a tough guy in my book! I give kudos to anyone that can endure running barefoot. Now give me your lunch money.
ReplyDeleteOptional nickname since you would have share "Barefoot Josh" with some other dude:
ReplyDeleteShoeless Josh!
I think we'll be registering a whole bunch of names. That way, when I do something embarrassing, possibly criminally embarrassing, I'll have another moniker to throw people off of my real identity.
ReplyDeleteRTL: "endure" isn't in my vocabulary, unless it's in reference to what my wife has to do re me.
Good to read about the Jane Austin loathing. Reading books way over-rated; that time better spent scrawling. :)
ReplyDeleteI will be attempting my first barefoot run tomorrow and thinking about shin splints versus running barefoot and stepping on something, I'm just hoping this will be the better of the two! Thanks for the added inspiration.
ReplyDeleteSarah: you'll step on a lot of things. Most of them won't hurt at all. Go read Ken Bob's How To Run page a few times:
ReplyDeletehttp://runningbarefoot.org/?page_id=525
Let me know how it goes!
I totally agree with this. If I was a tough guy, I would be much more tolerant of pain and probably be able to run in shoes.
ReplyDeleteI try to correct people who say things like, "You are brave."
I admire people tough enough to run in shoes.